DIY divorce or divorce without a lawyer in Washington state can save you money if you get it right, but when mistakes are made, they can often be costly. In this article, we’ll explore some of the more common mistakes made in DIY divorce in Washington state, so you don’t make them. If you and your spouse have a relatively simple financial situation, and believe you agree about everything in your divorce settlement, it’s understandable why you might want to try to file for divorce without the assistance of a lawyer.
Yet, Washington state marital property laws and divorce laws are complex. The financial decisions, and any financial mistakes you make during your divorce are permanent and can impact your taxes, your savings, your retirement planning, and your personal property. You cannot appeal or undo a finalized divorced. And if you have children, the decisions you make during your divorce will impact them for the remainder of their childhood, and possibly, beyond. The child support decisions you make will impact the quality and kinds of resources your children will have.
If you’re planning a DIY divorce, it’s important to get this right.
The top five mistakes couples make in DIY divorce include financial mistakes, legal mistakes, child support and custody mistakes, mistakes due to emotional decision-making, and mistakes about the divorce process itself. In this article we’ll delve more deeply into the top five mistakes couples make in a DIY divorce in Washington state.
- Believing that a 50/50 split of assets and debts is the fairest option
- Not filing all the forms properly or missing key procedural requirements
- Believing that a 50/50 parenting plan means no child support
- Agreeing to everything your spouse wants to get your divorce over with or to maintain the peace
- Choosing the wrong divorce process
DIY Divorce Mistake #1:Believing that a 50/50 split of assets and debts is the fairest option
Believing that a 50/50 split of assets and debts is always fair can be misleading. Washington courts consider each spouse’s financial situation, earning capacity, and contributions—not just equality in numbers.
Washington law starts with equal division, but “equal” doesn’t always mean fair. The court looks at income, contributions, and future financial needs when dividing assets and debts.
In DIY divorce, one of the most common financial mistakes couples make is choosing to divide everything 50/50. It can be tempting to just split everything down the middle because, on the surface, it seems like the fairest decision, and it also makes for a quicker and easier divorce. But, in many cases, splitting everything 50/50 is a mistake.
Here’s why.
- Confusing Separate Property for Marital Property
Anything you owned before you got married is yours to keep.The car you purchased before you got married, the kayak, the climbing gear, the furniture, the savings accounts, and any debts you held before you were married, are all yours. If you had your pet before you got married, your pet is technically yours as well. If you inherited property or money from a family member, that’s also yours to keep in a divorce, even if you inherited the property while you were married (see RCW 26.16.010). And if you used inheritance or savings you earned prior to your marriage to purchase property together or make shared investments, you may be entitled to a larger share of that property or investment proportional to your personal contribution. So, if you received a small inheritance and used it to purchase what became your family van, the family van may be yours to keep in the divorce.
Things could get complicated if you used separate savings (savings from before you were married) and shared savings (savings during your marriage), to make larger purchases like a home purchase, automobile purchases, purchases of sports gear, and more. Much of the work divorce lawyers do is helping couples sort out who owns what, especially when separate savings or inheritances got comingled when marital investments were made or when savings accounts were opened. After taking an honest look at what each person brought into the marriage, a 50/50 split might not seem so fair.
- Confusing Equitable Division of Property for Equal Division of Property
In Washington state, property is divided equitably, not always equally (RCW 26.09.090). Other factors play a role in how property and debts might be divided in a divorce, including how long you were married, and each party’s economic circumstances.
If you were married only a short period of time, distinguishing between shared and separate property will likely be one of the bigger factors to consider when dividing assets. Because your marriage was shorter, you’ll likely have less community property than you think (yes, even if you purchased a home together). If your marriage was longer, division of property will often factor in each partner’s earning capacity, independent savings, inheritance, and more.
In general, the courts don’t want to see one partner in the marriage leave very wealthy, and another leave the marriage destitute. In some cases, the court might award the less financially resourced partner a larger share of marital property as a result. If one partner has significant inheritance or other resources, a 50/50 split may not make sense. While a more well-resourced partner might try to get you to accept that you’ll leave your marriage with what you brought into it, this isn’t how Washington state divorce law works.
Some of the most important work that a divorce lawyer can do is help you and your partner realistically assess how your finances will look after divorce, and help you divorce in a way that results in the best financial outcome for both parties. After an honest assessment of each partner’s resources from all sources (especially if one partner has a higher paying job, assets from inheritance, or owns more separate assets), a 50/50 split of marital assets might not seem as fair.
- Failing to Consider Pensions and Retirement Accounts
Even if you and your partner don’t have independent investments, like an IRA, or 401(k), retirement planning may still play a role in your divorce settlement, especially if you or your partner is a public employee in Washington state, a teacher, or in the military. For example, if you or your spouse is a teacher, you will have contributed to the Teachers’ Retirement System (TRS) Plan 2 available to public workers in Washington during your marriage. Police officers, fire fighters, and other public workers may also have contributed to PERS Plan 2, the Public Employees’ Retirement System, available to public employees in Washington, meaning that some portion of this plan would be marital property.
If your partner is in the military, you might be entitled to receive a portion of the benefits your partner earned while you were married and while he or she served in the military (military pensions include the Legacy or High 36 Retirement System or the Blended Retirement System).
Any contribution made to these plans during your marriage is considered marital property, and a spouse might be entitled to a percentage of the retirement benefits when the time comes to collect them. Even if either of you aren’t public employees, if either of your employers contributed to a 401(k) or other pension or retirement plan during your marriage as part of financial compensation, both spouses might be entitled to a share of the benefits or contributions made during the marriage. A divorce lawyer can look at how divorce can impact your retirement planning and help you and your partner find a solution that protects your shared contribution. Again, when you consider retirement and pension funds, a 50/50 split of assets might not be as straightforward as it initially seemed.
- Failing to Consider the Tax Implications of Divorce
Divorce brings many tax implications. If you have minor children, for example, who will take the child tax credit? Your divorce timeline can impact whether you’ll file your taxes married or single next year. Furthermore, if you want to split certain types of retirement accounts, like a 401(k), you could face serious tax penalties if you don’t file the right forms (a QDRO, or qualified domestic relations order). To make things even more complicated, when dividing property, accounts may be valued differently based on whether the money in them is subject to tax after withdrawal.
A couple might mistakenly think two accounts with $10,000 in them are worth the same and give one account to one partner and the other account to the other, but one partner might end up with a savings account that isn’t subject to tax, while the other might end up with an account subject to tax penalties upon withdrawal of funds. A divorce lawyer can help you navigate the tax implications of divorce and identify accounts that may be subject to tax. What might appear to be a fair 50/50 split on the surface may not be so.
DIY Divorce Mistake #2:Not filing all the forms properly or missing key procedural requirements
If you visit this Washington state court website, you’ll find a comprehensive list of all the family law forms for a Washington state divorce.
There are nearly 200 different family law forms, and because every divorce is unique, the forms you’ll need to fill out will vary depending on your situation. Because divorce laws are complex, even Washington state courts don’t recommend DIY divorce.
If you don’t file properly or miss important procedural steps, your case could be delayed or even dismissed. For example, if you are not filing for divorce jointly, you’ll need to make sure your partner was properly served divorce papers. If you have children, you’ll need to submit a parenting plan. If you or your partner live out of state or if one or both of you is in the military, you could encounter jurisdiction issues. Any errors or omissions could drag on your divorce longer than you’d like or even lead to added costs.
DIY Divorce Mistake #3:Believing that a 50/50 parenting plan means no child support
In Washington state, child support is determined based on a formula provided by the state. You can find the child support calculator here. Yet, there are still ways that mistakes can be made, even when a formula is involved.
Child support is determined based on both parents’ incomes and the time the children spend with each parent. Some parents try to simplify their divorce by choosing a 50/50 parenting plan, mistakenly believing that no child support is required when both parents split time with the children down the middle. Child support doesn’t work this way. If one parent has significantly more income, child support may still be awarded to ensure that the children enjoy a better standard of living when they are spending time with the less-resourced parent.
Divorce lawyers help co-parents find the parenting plan that is truly in their children’s best interests. The time and money you spend getting your parenting plan right today could save you money and time in the future.
Other mistakes can also affect child support.
- Failing to Count all Income When Determining Child Support Payments.
If you’re thinking of DIY divorce, you probably don’t think your partner is dishonest and hiding assets, or choosing not to work to avoid child support, but if you fail to count all income due to an honest mistake, your children could end up with less support than they deserve.
Under Washington state law (RCW 26.19.071) income that must be counted for child support purposes includes wages, salaries, commissions, deferred compensation, overtime, contractual benefits, dividends, trust income, severance pay, capital gains, workers’ comp, bonuses, disability, and any self-employment pay (royalties, rent, and more). A divorce lawyer can help you count all income from both parents so that your children receive the support they deserve.
- Failing to Account for Additional Expenses
Child support also doesn’t account for additional expenses, like saving for college. Many parents choose to include additional clauses in their divorce settlement to ensure that both parents contribute to their children’s college fund or save for other expenses.
- Vague Custody Agreements
If you and your partner get along, and are trying a DIY divorce, it can be tempting to put together a vague child custody agreement. Even if you like the idea of flexibility or believe that you and your partner can just play it by ear and work things out, if issues do arise, you could end up in court, leading to costs and litigation. Courts require a parenting plan because they want parents to sit down and think through the potential issues that can arise when co-parenting after divorce. Divorce lawyers have seen it all when it comes to co-parenting disputes and can help you address issues before they arise.
DIY Divorce Mistake #4:Agreeing to everything your spouse wants to get your divorce over with or to maintain the peace
Most people choose DIY divorce because they want to get things over with as quickly as possible. We get it. You’re ready to move on. You’ve probably been thinking about this for a long time, and by the time you get down to filing the paperwork, you want your divorce finalized last week.
You want to move out and move on. Maybe you want to get remarried.
Yet, some of the most costly and serious mistakes made during divorce are those made emotionally.
For example, it might be tempting to move out the moment you and your partner decide to divorce, but doing so could impact your custody rights if you have children.
Maybe you’re tempted to give your partner more because you’re guilty about cheating or finding someone new. Yet, in Washington state, divorce is no-fault based. You don’t have to destroy yourself financially because your feelings changed.
Or maybe you’re dealing with a partner who gets explosively angry, and you just don’t want to deal with them, even with lawyers present. In this situation, you might get bullied into agreeing to unfavorable terms in your divorce just to avoid conflict. Not a good idea for your financial health. And also, not a good idea if you have minor children and will need to communicate with your partner in the future.
A divorce lawyer can help you pump the brakes a little, help you understand your rights under the law, and help you make decisions from a place or reason rather than emotion.
But if you do choose a DIY divorce, it’s important to pause and reflect before you make decisions.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I signing this divorce agreement because I want to get this over and done with, or because I think this agreement is truly in my best interests (and in my children’s best interests)?
- Am I signing this agreement out of fear of what would happen if I hired a divorce lawyer, or if I fought more for what I want?
- Do I feel threatened, rushed, or bullied into signing this agreement?
- Are there feelings like guilt, resentment, or sadness that might be driving my decision-making?
- Do I feel the need to give more to my ex to make up for past errors?
If you answer yes to these questions, you might want to speak to a divorce lawyer before you sign anything. Even couples who choose DIY divorce often hire lawyers after the paperwork is drafted just to review everything and make sure they aren’t missing important details.
DIY Divorce Mistake #5:Choosing the wrong divorce process
Sometimes couples start out trying for a DIY divorce, or divorce without a lawyer, but when they hit some of the roadblocks and challenges described above, they are already so angry, activated, or deep in the process, that they don’t step back and consider their options. Couples sometimes find themselves in court or end up getting sent to mediation.
When it comes to filing for divorce, there are many ways forward. DIY divorce is just one of them.
Most couples who choose DIY divorce in Washington state file for uncontested divorce. Washington state doesn’t have a specific process for uncontested divorce. You and your spouse will file a joint petition for divorce. But what happens if you and your partner hit roadblocks along the way?
Without legal guidance from the start, you and your former partner could end up choosing a more costly and time-consuming divorce process.
There is a Another Way
If you’re thinking about a DIY divorce, there’s another way—a middle ground that keeps you and your partner in control of your divorce, while also offering you legal guidance from the start. With collaborative divorce, you and your partner still make decisions about your divorce settlement together, but with your lawyers present, to help you put those decisions in writing with the right legal paperwork. Your lawyers can intervene if you find yourself navigating the more complex legal terrain of property division, retirement, child support and custody, and more. If you want to get it over and done with in one or two sittings, for many simple divorce situations, you still can with collaborative divorce.
With collaborative divorce, your divorce lawyer is there to help you gather and review the information you need to make wise and informed decisions about distinguishing between separate and community property, dividing asserts and debts, making decisions about retirement and pension accounts, child custody, and child support—and to help you find creative solutions for some of the more difficult issues that can arise (like dividing a pension, making sense of separate and shared property, or finding ways to creatively and collaboratively co-parent).
The collaborative divorce lawyers at Truce Law bring a DIY spirit to divorce. When you choose collaborative divorce, you work with lawyers committed to conflict resolution, negotiation, and problem solving. Collaborative divorce is a hybrid DIY way that allows you the freedom to work together to craft a divorce agreement that works for you with the peace of mind of knowing that you got it right, did it fair, and didn’t miss anything important—because you had divorce lawyers on your side every step of the way. Contact Truce Law today for Case Evaluation to learn more about how we can help you with your DIY divorce.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.