One of the most challenging aspects of any Washington parenting plan is negotiating the co-parenting schedule. The custody schedule you ultimately choose for your family will depend on many factors, including you and your former partners’ schedules, your child’s age, and other practical considerations, including distance between each parents’ home, your child’s activities, unique needs, and more.
Studies have shown that children in shared custody arrangements have better emotional, behavioral, psychological, outcomes; enjoy better physical well-being, and have stronger relationships with their parents, even when there was a high level of conflict between both parents (Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 2014).
In the past, custody arrangements tended to lean towards the mother receiving custody of the children, with children seeing their father every other weekend. As more women have joined the workforce during their child-rearing years, 50-50 custody arrangements, and more balanced dual residence custody arrangements have become more popular.
While there was initial resistance toward the 50-50 custody split with some critics arguing that it caused the children too much disruption, recent research indicates that the benefits of this arrangement outweigh the downsides. In a systematic review published in the Journal of Family Studies, researchers performed an analysis of studies published about dual residence custody arrangements. The researchers looked at studies where the shared custody arrangements included 50-50 splits (where the children’s time between both parents was evenly split), but also included an analysis of shared custody arrangements where the time wasn’t so evenly split, up to and including 25-75 custody arrangements.
It is important to note that the definition of dual residence varied among the studies reviewed, with some studies only defining dual residence as 50-50 splits, and others allowing 25-75 splits to fall under the definition. The researchers concluded that children “appear to profit from dual residence arrangements (regardless of the definition) if they are of the cooperative, communicative, low-conflict, and non-violent type and the children are above the age of four.” Research on different custody arrangements on children below the age of four isn’t robust enough to draw conclusions.
While cooperation and communication often resulted in better outcomes, the researchers found that children in dual-residence arrangements fared well, even when there was ongoing parental conflict. Researchers generally found that the children’s good relationship with both parents outweighed the stress of parental conflict. It is important to note that many dual-residence families live close to one another, and parents often shared parenting responsibilities before divorce. Parents who put the children’s needs above their own also saw better outcomes in dual-residence arrangements.
Studies can only offer a general picture. Every child and family’s needs are unique, and there simply isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to splitting parenting time that will work across the board. This is why it is so important to take the time to fully consider the kind of custody arrangement you’ll incorporate into your parenting plan. Changing a parenting plan after one has been finalized by the court can be very difficult, so it is important that you get your parenting right the first time.
Because children’s outcomes are better in situations where parents can cooperate, communicate, and reduce conflict, more parents are choosing collaborative divorce or mediation to work to create a parenting plan that works. Rather than taking disputes about the parenting schedule to court, more parents are choosing collaborative law and mediation to find co-parenting solutions that work for their families. Truce Law is a collaborative law firm in Seattle, Washington that helps divorcing couples use mediation and the collaborative process to create custody schedules that work for their families.
Here are some of the more common shared custody schedules (custody splits):
50-50 Custody Splits
With a 50-50 custody split, both parents split the parenting time equally. For this arrangement to work, both parents typically need to live close to one another and need to carefully coordinate their schedules. The benefit of the 50-50 custody arrangement is that the children spend equal time with both parents and can develop strong relationships and attachments to both caregivers. The drawback of the 50-50 custody arrangement is the risk that children (and parents) will find the frequent exchanges disruptive to their schedules and living arrangements. Both parents will also need to frequently communicate and exchange the children, so these arrangements work best when parents have a relatively low-conflict divorce or relationship. Here are some potential 50-50 custody schedules.
2-2-3
With a 2-2-3 schedule, “parent one” has the children for two days, “parent two” has the children for the next two days, and “parent one” has the children for the next three days. In the next week, “parent two” has the children for two days, “parent one” has the children for two days, and “parent two” has the children for the next three days. Over the course of these rotations, both parents see the children equally during the week, and alternate weekends with the children.
3-4-4-3
With a 3-4-4-3 schedule, “parent one” has the children for three days, “parent two” has the children for 4 days, then “parent one” has the children for four days and “parent two” has the children for three days. The downsides of the 3-4-4-3 schedule is that one parent may consistently have weekends with the children. The benefit of this arrangement is that the children only need to be exchanged once per week.
2-2-5-5
With the 2-2-5-5 schedule, “parent one” spends two days with the children, then “parent two” spends two days with the children, followed by “parent one” spending five days with the children, and “parent two” spending five days with the children. This schedule has the benefit of allowing both parents to have the children on the same days every other week, but the longer five-day stays may not work for younger children.
Alternating Every Two Days
With this schedule, parents exchange the children every two days. Exchanges are more frequent, but some parents and children find the consistency of this schedule easier to follow.
Alternating Weeks Schedule
With the week-on, week-off schedule, one parent gets the children for a full week, and then the other parent gets the children for a full-week. This kind of co-parenting schedule often works best for older children and may not work as well for younger children who may find a whole week away from their other parent to be too disruptive to promote bonding. With an alternating weeks schedule, there are fewer exchanges and fewer mid-week disruptions.
Alternating Two Weeks
Like the alternating weeks schedule, the alternating two weeks schedule extends the time the children spend with each parent to two weeks. This schedule is not so common because even older children might find this schedule disruptive to their routines.
70-30 Custody Split
With a 70-30 custody split, one parent typically has the child during the week, with the other parent having the child during the weekend. Another way to think about this arrangement is to think about it as one parent having five overnight visits a week, and the other parent having two overnight visits each week. Because it might not be acceptable for parents to lose custody of their children every weekend, some parents might incorporate rotations into custody exchanges, where one parent has the children every other weekend and sometimes during the week, or where one parent has the children most weekends, with occasional substitutions. If you don’t live near your former partner, or near your child’s school, a 70-30 custody split might be more practical. In recent years, 70-30 custody splits have become less common, as more parents have opted to divide parenting responsibilities more equally.
60-40 Custody Split
The 60-40 custody split is a compromise between a 50-50 split and a 70-30 split. Some parents want a more even custody split but find that a 50-50 split is too disruptive to their schedules or find that the custody split requires more exchanges and coordination than they would like. While a 70-30 custody split can require fewer exchanges, and is more straightforward, some parents aren’t happy to lose custody of their children every weekend or are unhappy with not being able to see their children during the week. When parents consider the fact that children spend a significant portion of their days in school, or the fact that parents may spend significant portions of their days at work, a 60-40 custody split may ultimately result in effectively the same amount of “quality time” with the children as a 50-50 split. This is why parents who are considering a 50-50 split need to consider factors like their own work schedules and the children’s school schedules when working out these arrangements.
Many parents who choose the 60-40 custody split prefer flexibility and quality time with the children over the strict schedules often required to make a true 50-50 split work. For example, one parent might enjoy a flexible work schedule where he or she has time during the week to spend with children, while another parent may only be able to spend quality time with children during the weekends. A 60-40 schedule can ensure that children have quality time to develop relationships with both parents, either after school or on the weekends. Some parents who opt for the 60-40 custody split, might also change the co-parenting schedule during the summer months, to accommodate the children’s changing needs.
4-3 Schedule
With a 4-3 parenting plan schedule, “parent one” will have the children for four days, then “parent two” will have the children for three days. When this kind of rotation is strictly observed, one parent will typically see the children on the weekdays, and the other parent will typically see the children on the weekends. High-conflict co-parents might find a 4-3 schedule beneficial because exchanges can take place when the parents pick up or drop-off the children from school, reducing the need for the parents to interact or communicate. Yet, parents can modify this schedule as needed. Many parents who opt for a 60-40 custody split use shared calendars or co-parenting applications to negotiate parenting time, and modify schedules as needed.
8-6 Schedule
With an 8-6 parenting plan schedule, “parent one” will have the children for 8 days, then “parent two” will have the children for 6 days. Children spend longer periods with each parent, but this minimizes exchanges and ensures that both parents enjoy both weekend time and weekday time with the children.
Alternating Weekends and Midweek Visits
An 8-6 schedule may not work as well for younger children. If co-parents in Washington want to ensure that they have time with the children both on weekends and during the week, an alternating weekend and midweek visit plan might work. With this schedule parents alternate weekends. The parent with weekend custody will also get one overnight with the children during the week.
Age Considerations
A child’s age could have an impact on the custody schedule you and your former partner choose.
For example, if you have an infant, breastfeeding and sleep schedules may need to be considered. Some parents opt for daytime visits with one parent in these scenarios so that the baby can breastfeed. As the child grows or weans, then parents can adjust to a 50-50, 70-30, or 60-40 parenting time schedule. Babies need more frequent contact with both parents to develop a relationship and attachment. While the baby might reside with the breastfeeding parent, the other parent may visit several times a week, or even every day. Some parents decide to bottle feed and alternate overnight visits, crafting an alternating every two nights schedule or a 2-2-3 schedule.
Toddler-aged children are sensitive to conflict, are more at risk of developing separation anxiety, and have a need to form secure attachments with both caregivers. Finding a co-parenting schedule that minimizes conflict, while preserving a consistent routine for the toddler may be important for the child’s developmental needs at this stage. Alternating week schedules, and schedules like 8-6 or even 2-2-5-5 might be too disruptive or result in too much time away from each parent for a toddler. That said, few researchers have studied the impact on different parenting schedules on children under 4, so parents will want to consider their children’s needs and temperaments when developing a co-parenting schedule.
Older children may be more flexible and able to handle longer times away from one or both parents. School-age children may also spend a significant portion of their days at school or in extracurricular activities and may require parenting schedules that accommodate these needs. In low-conflict situations, parents might even coordinate with teens to develop a co-parenting plan that works for the whole family.
Parenting plans can be developed with a child’s age in mind, and parents can leave the option for the schedule to be revisited as the child grows older, or even make provisions for changes as the child grows older and his or her needs change.
Negotiating a Custody Split That Works for Your Family
Finding a parenting time schedule that works for you and your family is no easy task. Your own scheduling needs, your child’s school and extracurricular schedule, as well as your child’s age, and other special needs may each play a role in the parenting schedule you and your former partner decide upon. How far apart you and your former partner live from each other and from your child’s school will also play a role in the kind of custody split that works for you. Finally, you may also need to account for your child’s relationships with extended family members and siblings when working out your custody split and parenting time arrangement.
While parenting schedules can have an impact on child support payments, parents shouldn’t always assume that a 50-50 split will eliminate the need for child support. Some conflicts surrounding parenting time occur because of misunderstanding about how child support works. If one parent makes significantly more money than the other, Washington may still award child support to the lower-earning parent, even in a 50-50 custody split.
Some families work best when the parenting schedule is clear-cut and strict, while others might want their parenting schedule to allow for greater flexibility and ongoing negotiation. The schedule you ultimately decide will depend largely upon how well you and your former partner communicate and whether you are high-conflict or low-conflict parents or are facing a high-conflict or low-conflict divorce.
Developing a parenting schedule can be one of the most stressful aspects of your divorce or separation. Divorce or separation brings major life changes to parents and children alike. More parents recognize the need to reduce conflict to encourage better psychological, emotional, and behavioral outcomes for their children. For this reason, more parents are choosing to negotiate their parenting plans and co-parenting schedules in Washington State using mediation or collaborative divorce, rather than choosing to take these matters to court.
Co-Parenting Schedules in Washington State
Truce Law is a collaborative divorce law firm that helps parents find peaceful solutions to some of the most difficult co-parenting conflicts. We use negotiation strategies, and peaceful conflict-resolution strategies to help parents understand their underlying motivations and goals. Very few parental conflicts require mutually exclusive solutions. If you want to negotiate a parenting plan that’s in your children’s best interests, reach out to Truce Law, a collaborative divorce law firm in Seattle, Washington today.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.