In this article Truce Law will explore how second parent adoptions (often referred to in the LGBTQ+ community as parental recognition adoptions or confirmatory adoptions—and legally referred to in Washington state as stepparent adoptions) can help LGBTQ+ couples protect and confirm their parentage rights in this uncertain political and judicial climate.
Second parent adoptions, or confirmatory adoptions, go by many different names, depending on the state where you live. While the legal terminology varies from state to state, and the process varies, the outcome is the same—a court order that confirms your parentage rights. LGBTQ+ couples often refer to these adoptions as parental recognition adoptions. The LGBTQ+ community also often refers to these adoptions as confirmatory adoptions, and some states have started using this language to make these adoptions more inclusive, empowering, and to reduce confusion.
In Washington state, these adoptions are referred to as stepparent adoptions. Washington doesn’t have a confirmatory adoption law in place—yet. According to MAP, 9 states have confirmatory adoption, and another 21 states have second parent / co-parent adoptions. Washington is not one of these states.
Stepparent adoptions or second parent adoptions are often used by LGBTQ+ parents to confirm the parentage of the non-gestational or non-genetic parent. Because many LGBTQ+ couples become parents through assisted reproduction, these parents might choose to take additional steps to protect their parent-child relationship, even when they are the named parent on their child’s birth certificate.
Because these adoptions often occur when both parents are already named on the child’s birth certificate, and because these adoptions occur in families where both parents are married, it’s understandable that terms like stepparent adoption, can be confusing and even upsetting to LGBTQ+ families.
If you feel that the idea of adopting your own children feels demeaning—we understand. Washington’s legal language has not caught up with the diverse needs of Washington families.
Yet, it’s important to understand why some LGBTQ+ couples are choosing to take the added step of adopting their own children, and to take some time to decide whether a stepparent adoption is right for your family at this time.
Given the current political climate and the patchwork nature of parentage laws across the country, more LGBTQ+ couples are seeking second parent adoptions to give themselves ironclad parentage rights. State laws regarding the recognition of parentage differs across the nation. Just being named as a parent on your child’s birth certificate may not be sufficient to secure your parentage rights in some states. Second parent adoption can be a powerful legal protection and tool that LGBTQ+ couples can use to ensure that their parentage rights are secure, regardless of what happens at the level of the Supreme Court, Congress, or executive order, and regardless of where the family moves.
Second parent adoptions are protected under the U.S. Constitution. Most important of all, second parent adoptions are enforceable across state lines. Because court-orders must be honored in all states, a stepparent adoption offers added protection beyond being named on your child’s birth certificate.
What is Confirmatory Adoption (Stepparent Adoption)?
We often think of adoption as the process of bringing a child into your family when the child isn’t biologically related to both parents. Many LGBTQ+ couples adopt children through adoption agencies or through Washington State Department of Children, Youth, & Families. This article isn’t about this process. For more information about traditional adoption, you can visit the Washington State Department of Children, Youth & Families website, or reach out to Truce Law about how a family lawyer can help you navigate the traditional adoption process.
With most second parent adoptions in Washington state, both parents are already named as parents on the child’s birth certificate. And in many instances, one parent is usually the child’s biological parent. Second parent adoption, or stepparent adoption, establishes parentage for the child’s non-biological or non-gestational parent through legal court order.
When LGBTQ+ couples use assisted reproduction to grow their families, second parent adoptions, or confirmatory adoption is one way to ensure that both parents’ parentage rights will be recognized across Washington state lines. For lesbian couples, second parent adoption, or confirmatory adoption can ensure that the non-birth parent has the same legal rights as the birth parent, regardless of where the family lives, moves, or travels. And for gay couples who use a surrogacy, confirmatory adoption can add these strong legal protections.
While many LGBTQ+ individuals might find the legal language of second parent adoption uncomfortable (why would I want to adopt my own child, after all?) second parent adoptions, or confirmatory adoptions are court-ordered judgements that must be recognized across state lines, eliminate any confusion about parentage, and offer strong parentage protections.
In this article, we’ll explore the following topics:
- What is Parentage?
- Why Would I Need or Want to Adopt My Own Children?
- The Stepparent Adoption Process in Washington State
- What Does a Stepparent Adoption Cost?
- Our Washington and Seattle Family Lawyers Can Help
What is Parentage?
Parentage is a word used to describe the legal recognition of parental rights. Much like paternity establishes the legal relationship between a father and child, parentage is a more gender-neutral term that establishes the same. With lesbian couples, for example, the nonbirth or non-gestational parent would receive parentage either through presumption of parentage through marriage (thanks to Obergefell v. Hodges), or through a stepparent adoption.
Washington state law has some of the most robust parentage laws. These laws afford broad protection to LGBTQ+ couples. Let’s be clear: in Washington state, you do not need to adopt your own children to gain parentage rights. Washington broadly recognizes the presumption of parentage for married LGBTQ+ couples (meaning that if you and your partner are married, your name will go on the child’s birth certificate regardless of whether you are the gestational or genetic parent). LGBTQ+ couples who are not married only need to sign an acknowledgement of parentage when the child is born to establish parentage in Washington state.
Parentage is important because it is the legal mechanism by which a parent has the right to make medical and educational decisions for their children. It establishes legal family ties for inheritance purposes and gives your children the right to access your health care benefits.
Under Washington law, parentage is established for the parent who gives birth to the child, and is granted to the married spouse of the birth parent. Parentage can also be established when both parents sign an acknowledgement of parentage form when the child is born.
Typically, we think of parentage in terms of whose name is on the child’s birth certificate. In the state of Washington, if your name is on the birth certificate, parentage is assumed. Yet, this may not be true in every state, especially in states hostile to LGBTQ+ rights.
According to the Seattle University Law Review, “most adults take for granted their right, through marriage and adoption, to legally protect their relationship with their children. A substantial segment of adults, however, cannot take this right for granted.” While Obergefell v. Hodges extended the rights of same sex couples to marry and adopt, and extended presumption of parentage to same-sex couples, GLAD Law notes that some “state trial courts have ruled that non-genetic parents or non-gestational parents of children born into marriages are not legal parents and should not be recorded as legal parents on birth certificates.” And not all states offer the same kind of robust legal parentage protections that Washington state affords to parents who conceive through assisted reproduction (where one parent isn’t the genetic parent). According to Carrie Bashaw, writing for the Seattle University Law Review, “The rights and needs of children in these nontraditional families could be recognized through second parent adoptions.”Â
Being merely listed as a parent on your child’s birth certificate may not be enough to establish parentage in some states. So, while Washington recognizes your parentage rights, your parentage rights might not be secure if you move, travel, or if national laws are significantly changed through Supreme Court rulings.
With recent Supreme Court rulings that have overturned what was once believed to be unchangeable established law (Dobbs), it’s understandable that LGBTQ+ parents will want to put additional protections in place to formally establish parentage and secure their parentage rights.Â
Why Would I Need or Want to Adopt My Own Children?
Given that Washington state has strong protections for LGBTQ+ parents, some parents might wonder why they would want or need to adopt their own children. While Washington state assumes parentage for married LGBTQ+ parents, making it easy for both parents to establish parentage at the child’s birth, even if one parent isn’t the child’s biological parent, unfortunately, not all states might automatically recognize parentage based on both parents being named on the child’s birth certificate. If you travel or move to another state, or if laws change, there’s a conceivable scenario where parentage could be brought into question. Adoption establishes parentage through court-order, meaning parentage must be recognized in all states.Â
Here are some important reasons why you might want to consider a second parent, or confirmatory adoption:
- In some states, some court rulings have indicated that non-genetic or non-gestational parents shouldn’t be listed on the child’s birth certificate. If you or your partner move to a state where the courts haven’t been consistent in recognizing LGBTQ+ parentage, only adoption through court order can offer ironclad parentage protection for the child’s non-gestational or non-biological parent.
- Not all states offer parents the same parentage protection when their children are born through assisted reproduction or surrogacy.
- Because second parent adoptions and stepparent adoptions are court orders, they must be honored by all states under the U.S. Constitution.
- In Washington, merely holding a child as your own (being in the role of the child’s parent), is sufficient to establish parentage. This is not true in all states.
- If you and your partner get divorced in a state that isn’t Washington and custody issues arise, adoption is the only ironclad way to formalize your parentage rights, and ensure that both parents, and not just the child’s biological parent, would have custody rights outside of Washington state.With formal adoption, your child can’t be denied dependent health insurance coverage and other benefits, even if Obergefell were to be overturned, or if you move to a state with less friendly LGBTQ+ laws.
If you have questions about whether a second parent adoption is right for you, reach out to the family lawyers at Truce Law today. We can guide you through the second parent adoption process every step of the way.
The Stepparent Adoption Process in Washington State
While Washington state has some of the most straightforward confirmatory adoption process in the country, there are still steps you’ll need to take to formalize and finalize the adoption. With a stepparent adoption, the non-gestational or nongenetic parent is the one who will adopt.
You’ll need to get some paperwork together for the stepparent adoption, specifically you’ll need birth certificates for you, your spouse, and your child, your marriage certificate, and your donation contract. To begin the adoption process, you’ll need to submit this paperwork, along with a petition to the court. The stepparent adoption process can vary from county to county in the state of Washington, and many LGBTQ+ families choose to hire a family lawyer to help them with the process.
With a stepparent adoption, you may need to go through a background check and secure a pre-post placement report from a social worker or other professional, recommending the adoption. And in some instances, a home study might be required.
Yet, many judges are aware of why LGBTQ+ couples are seeking stepparent adoptions, and some judges might be willing to waive the home study or pre-post placement report and may be willing to waive the background check requirement. To waive this requirement your family lawyer can file a motion to the court requesting that the pre-post placement report be waived because this is an affirming or confirmatory adoption.
After all the paperwork has been submitted, you and your partner will need to attend the adoption hearing (if your child is over 14, he or she may need to attend the hearing as well). Hearings tend to be brief, and these cases are sealed, meaning that they are private matters.
All of this can sound frightening and even infuriating, given that this is already your child. Having a family lawyer on your side who understands the process and who can help you streamline your confirmatory adoption can be incredibly helpful. Truce Law is a family law firm in Washington state that can help you petition the court to remove some of the more demeaning requirements of this process.
The family lawyers at Truce Law can help you through the process—every step of the way. We can review your case and help file motions to reduce the burden on your family as you navigate the legal steps of your confirmatory adoption. We understand how stressful and uncomfortable the process can feel, but the outcome is a court order that establishes parentage that can withstand political whims and will endure wherever you choose to live.
What Does a Second Parent Adoption Cost?
The cost of a second parent adoption, or stepparent adoption will depend on whether you need a pre-post placement report from a social worker, and on the county in which you live in Washington state. Because many couples choose to hire a family lawyer to assist them with their second parent or stepparent adoption, legal fees are another cost factor that couples might want to plan for.Â
Filing fees cost several hundred dollars, but you may be able to seek a waiver if you are low-income. A family lawyer may be able to petition the court to waive the pre-post placement report requirement, which can potentially save you several hundred or even thousands of dollars depending on individual social worker fees.
And, if you are low-income, many counties offer assistance for adoption through adoption facilitation appointments. While many service providers cannot provide you with legal advice, they can help you with the procedural aspects of your adoption.
Our Washington and Seattle Family Lawyers Can Help
Truce Law is a family law firm in Seattle, Washington, serving LGBTQ+ families in Seattle, Tacoma, and Olympia.Â
We understand that these adoptions can bring up all kinds of feelings for families. No one should have to adopt their own children. Yet, given the current legal climate, it’s understandable to want to do everything you can to protect your family and your children. The family lawyers in Washington at Truce Law are here to help you and can work together with you and your family to help make the second parent adoption as streamlined and stress-free as possible.
Ready to explore your options? Book a Case Evaluation with our team.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.