If you’re going through a difficult divorce, you’re not alone. According to the American Journal of Family Law, anywhere from 10 to 20 percent of divorces are “classified as high-conflict” with the researchers defining high-conflict divorce as “a divorce process that lasts longer than two years, which is characterized by a high degree of anger, hostility, and distrust, intensive custody litigation, ongoing difficulty about communicating about the care of the children, and higher than usual rates of nonpayment of child support.” High-conflict divorce can include difficult conversations, but what happens when angry communication during a high-conflict crosses the line into harassment?
Under Washington law, harassment is a criminal act with criminal penalties, and a person who is committing acts of harassment could face criminal charges. In the context of divorce and separation, harassment often overlaps with issues including domestic violence and coercive control. If you are in the process of going through a divorce or separation and are experiencing harassment, the harassment lawyers at Truce Law in Seattle, Washington may be able to help you. Our family law attorneys can help you understand how harassment can impact your divorce and child custody case and can help you get the help you need.
- Harassment Defined Under Washington Law
- What is Domestic Violence?
- What is Coercive Control?
- Protective Orders
- Harassment, Divorce, and Child Custody
Harassment Defined Under Washington Law
Harassment is defined under Washington law (RCW 9A.46.020). Harassment includes any threat to “cause bodily injury immediately or in the future,” any threat to physically damage another person’s property, to physically confine or restrain another person, or any malicious action that would “substantially harm the person threatened.” Harassment can include words, conduct, or electronic communication that leaves a person with reasonable fear of the threats being made. Under Washington law, harassment can be considered a gross misdemeanor or a felony. An individual could face felony harassment charges if the person has been previously convicted of harassment, harasses someone in defiance of a restraining order or no-contact order, or the harassment includes the threat to kill another person. Misdemeanor and felony harassment convictions can result in fines and potential jail time for the person convicted. Both misdemeanor and felony harassment convictions could potentially impact your divorce and parenting plan.
Harassment is a term that covers a wide range of crimes. Some examples of harassment include:
- Telephone Harassment and Cyber Harassment
- Assault
- Reckless Endangerment
- Extortion
- Coercion
- Burglary or Trespass
- Kidnapping or Unlawful Imprisonment
- Rape
- Stalking
- Malicious Mischief
- Violation of any Protective Order
Telephone Harassment falls under RCW 9.61.230 and can include any phone call made with the intention to “harass, intimidate, torment, or embarrass,” and can include the use of “lewd, lascivious, profane, indecent, or obscene words or language, or suggesting the commission of any lewd or lascivious act.” Telephone harassment can include repeated phone calls, or calls made at inconvenient hours. It could include phone calls made to your place of employment with the intention to embarrass, torment, or intimidate you. If a person makes threats of injury or threats to damage your personal property during a phone call, this also could constitute telephone harassment. Cyber harassment is defined under Washington law (RCW 9A.90.120), and is similar to telephone harassment, but instead of using a telephone, the perpetrator uses electronic communication.
Assault includes any physical attack made with the intention to cause bodily harm. It can include shoving, pushing, slapping, punching, kicking, or threatening another person with a deadly weapon.
Reckless endangerment is any action that could create a risk of serious injury or death to another person. It can include driving a car recklessly and in a manner that could potentially cause serious injury or death to a passenger (you or your children), or discharging a firearm into the air, even if the firearm wasn’t aimed specifically at the other person.
Extortion could happen in the context of divorce, separation, or child custody, where a person uses threats to obtain a beneficial divorce settlement or child custody settlement. Threats can include threats of physical harm but can also include threats to damage a person’s reputation, using fear or intimidation to secure a desired divorce or child custody result.
Coercion could happen if a person uses threats to force a person to take actions he or she otherwise wouldn’t have taken, or to prevent a person from taking actions he or she would have the right to take. For example, in situations of domestic violence, perpetrators might threaten a person with physical harm, harm to their pets, or harm to their children if they file for divorce, thus attempting to use this form of harassment to prevent the person from filing for divorce or separation out of fear of harm.
Burglary and criminal trespass are also classified as harassment under Washington law. If a person unlawfully enters a home or building, they could face burglary or trespass charges. Difficulties can arise with these kinds of charges in the context of divorce if a couple is going through a divorce or separation and legally share a family home, and legally share property. However, if there is a no contact order in place, or if one partner formally moved out of the marital home, and then enters the family home or formerly shared home, the former partner could face trespassing charges.
Kidnapping occurs when a person abducts someone with the intention to inflict mental distress or cause bodily harm. Unlawful imprisonment refers to any crime where a person restrains another person’s free movement, such as refusing to let him or her leave a home or car.
Under Washington law, rape is divided into first degree, second degree, and third-degree rape. Being married isn’t a rape defense. If your partner or former partner used a deadly weapon or threatened you with a deadly weapon into committing sexual acts, used threats of physical violence to force you into engaging in sexual acts, or used drugs or alcohol to sexually assault you without consent, this could all full under the crime of rape, and harassment. Sometimes victims of domestic violence or coercive control are forced into getting pregnant by their partners as a further means of control.
Stalking is defined under Washington Law (RCW 9A.46.10) as intentionally contacting, following, tracking, or monitoring another person after that person has explicitly said they don’t want to be contacted, followed, tracked, or monitored. Use of electronic tracking devices without the other person’s consent could be considered stalking under Washington law.
Malicious mischief can include a wide range of crimes but can include causing physical damage to another person’s property that exceeds $5000.
Violation of a protective order is also considered harassment under Washington law. This can include any protective order including domestic violence protective orders, sexual assault protective orders, antiharassment protective orders, stalking protective orders, and more.
Harassment can take place in many settings, but it can be particularly dangerous in the context of an intimate relationship. Harassment in the context of an intimate relationship, divorce, or separation can also be considered domestic violence or coercive control. Harassment can have an impact on your divorce and child custody case, and it can influence the way your child custody or divorce case would proceed. For example, if there has been a history of harassment in your relationship amounting to domestic violence or coercive control, you would be exempt from court-ordered mediation. A history of harassment amounting to domestic violence or coercive control could also be one of the grounds for a parent to seek sole custody of the children, or limited visitation. Finally, harassment amounting to domestic violence or coercive control would be one reason why a parent would be given permission to move to a new address with the children without informing the other parent about his or her location.
If you have been a victim of harassment and are considering filing for divorce or separation, or if your former partner is harassing you and you are going through a child custody battle or are in the middle of child custody negotiations, you may want to speak to a family lawyer or harassment lawyer in Seattle, Washington who handles divorce, child custody, and separation matters.
What is Domestic Violence?
When certain forms of harassment take place in the context of a dating relationship, marriage, intimate relationship, or between two people who share the same household, it is also considered domestic violence under Washington law (RCW 10.99.020). Crimes associated with domestic violence include a range of assault charges, reckless endangerment, coercion, burglary, trespassing, malicious mischief, kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, rape, stalking, and violation of a restraining order.
The danger and risks that victims, children, and pets face from domestic violence doesn’t end when a person leaves a relationship or files for divorce or separation. In fact, victims of domestic violence can be most at risk of violence escalating when they file for divorce, seek separation, or leave an abusive partner. According to the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, 75% of domestic violence homicides take place when a victim separates from a perpetrator. This 75% increased risk of violence can last up to two years after a person leaves an abuser. There is also the risk of escalation of violence. A relationship rife with emotional abuse or damage of property can escalate into physical abuse, and a physically abusive relationship can become highly dangerous or even deadly when the victim chooses to leave. If an abusive partner has access to a deadly weapon (especially a firearm), or if the person has engaged in stalking behaviors, the risk can be higher.
The decision to leave an abusive relationship or to divorce an abuser requires a great deal of courage. If you’re ready to leave an abuser, it can be helpful to have a safety plan in place. If you plan to give your former abuser divorce papers, it can also be helpful to take measures to keep yourself, your children, and your pets safe. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has resources to help you get help, make a safety plan, and access local resources.
The Seattle, Washington family law attorneys at Truce Law can help you take steps to protect yourself and your children when you separate or divorce by helping you seek protective orders, helping you take the legal steps needed to move yourself and your children to a safe and undisclosed location, and help you navigate the unique challenges raised in divorce and child custody matters when domestic violence, harassment, or coercive control is an issue.
What is Coercive Control?
When harassment occurs in intimate relationships, it can often be the result of a pattern of coercive control that took place during the relationship. Under Washington law (RCW 7.105.010) coercive control includes behavior which results in another person suffering “physical, emotional, or psychological harm” which can impact a person’s “free will and personal liberty.” Coercive control includes various actions, like threatening to damage or destroy another person’s property or damaging or destroying another person’s property (including pets); harassment over the phone or through electronic communications; stalking; driving recklessly (with you or your minor children in the vehicle); harming the children; attempting suicide or self-harm or threatening to commit suicide or self-harm with the intention to control another person’s actions; calling immigration officials or other agencies with the intention to threaten a person’s immigration status; using extortion (“threatening to make private information public”); sexual or reproductive coercion (rape, or forcing a person to become pregnant against her will); isolating a person from friends and family and other social bonds; limiting a person’s freedom of movement or finances (financial abuse); inflicting fear of harm through “psychological aggression;” or using litigation or courts to abuse or harm the other person.
Protective Orders
If you are being harassed and call the police because your former partner is harassing you, your former partner will be required to appear in court for an arraignment. At this time, the court would determine whether a no contact or no harassment order is warranted (RCW 9A.46.050). Harassment No-Contact orders can protect against unwanted invasions of privacy, stalking, or threats. Other types of protective orders include domestic violence protective orders, sexual assault protective orders, stalking protective orders, and family law restraining orders.
Protective orders can prohibit contact, remove an abuser from the family home or shared home, give the victim temporary custody of the children, give a victim access to property (like a shared vehicle, or pets), require an abuser to surrender deadly weapons, and require that an abuser attend counseling.
The key thing to remember with protective orders is that violation of an order can give police the ability to arrest a person who has violated the order. Yet, a protective order is still just a piece of paper. If a person is committed to harming you or your children, a protective order cannot prevent the person from doing this harm. Often a protective order is just one part of a larger strategy to protect victims from harassment, domestic violence, and coercive control. This can include the victim’s choice to move to an undisclosed location or shelter.
Harassment, Divorce, and Child Custody
Harassment can impact your divorce and child custody in many ways. For example, if one partner has been convicted of harassment crimes, these convictions could impact child custody determinations and even result in one parent being awarded sole custody, or limitations on visitation being placed.
Harassment can also impact a divorce settlement, especially if harassment or abuse impacted a person’s job or finances. If you were a victim of financial abuse or financial control, or were prevented from working because of an abusive situation, the courts might see fit to divide property in such a way as to allow the victim to come out of the situation with stronger financial footing. If financial abuse resulted in you taking on more debt than you otherwise would have or losing important opportunities, the court might also take these factors into consideration when dividing property and debts.
Washington is a no-fault divorce state, meaning the courts typically won’t look at misconduct when determining alimony or financial awards, but if emotional or physical abuse affected your earning capacity or your ability to support yourself, the court may consider these factors when awarding alimony or dividing property.
Harassment can have an impact on how you file for divorce as well. If the family courts find that there has been a history of harassment, domestic violence, or coercive control in your relationship, the courts will not require you to attend court-ordered mediation, meaning that your divorce will most likely be resolved through the courts. Mediation and collaborative divorce may also not always be the best option for couples with a history of harassment, domestic violence, or coercive control, because of the risk that the perpetrator might use threats, intimidation, or other means to control the outcome of negotiations. That said, if a perpetrator has sought counseling, or if counselors and therapists who focus on these dynamics are present, former partners in these situations looking to break the cycle of abuse might consent to attempt mediation or collaborative negotiations with extreme caution. In these cases, mediation or collaborative divorce must be approached with caution and in a way to protect a victim from being coerced into choosing such a process against their will.
Truce Law is a family law firm in Seattle, Washington that may be able to help you determine the best path forward if you are thinking of getting divorced or separated and are concerned about ongoing harassment. If your relationship has been characterized by harassment in the past, it may be important to take steps to protect yourself, your children, your pets, and your property.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.
Truce® Law is a private firm and does not offer pro bono legal services. For low-cost or free legal help in Washington, visit washingtonlawhelp.org.