Americans over 50 have lived through some of the most radical transformations of American family life, divorce, and marriage—and as the Baby Boomers get older, they continue to transform the landscape of remarriage. Gray divorce researchers and sociologists Susan L. Brown, I-Fen Lin, and others, write that 22% of women and 37% of men remarried within ten years after their gray divorce. And the most recent data suggests that 36% of adults getting divorced today are at least 50 years old, or older. With more singles over 50, we’re also seeing more gray marriages. Yet, getting remarried after 50 brings with it some unique challenges. Because couples over 50 are more likely to bring significant wealth or debt into their marriages, couples are wise to consider whether they might need a prenuptial agreement. Prenuptial agreements are no longer just for the very rich. As marital demographics have shifted, so have the legal tools available to help couples navigate new family and financial arrangements. Prenuptial agreements have evolved to help older couples structure their marital contracts in a way that makes sense to them.
When couples get married without a prenuptial agreement in the state of Washington, they enter the marriage contract as established by state law. These laws may make sense for couples getting married younger, or for couples with children, but they may not work for couples who are getting married as they near retirement age or for couples who are already retired when they get married. In this article, we’ll explore gray marriage and how a prenuptial agreement might be useful for couples planning to get married later in life.
Gray Marriage
The rise of gray marriage can be traced to unique social developments that arose during the Baby Boomers’ lifetime. The journalist Jill Filipovic writes that when the Baby Boomers were children, “the rules were pretty clear.” Sex was largely relegated to the confines of the family, and marriage inevitably led to children. The availability of the contraceptive pill meant “Baby Boomers were the first American generation to come into sexual maturity with available and extremely reliable birth control fully in women’s hands.” With the passage or Roe v. Wade and the legalization of abortion, Baby Boomer women became the first generation of women able to fully control their reproductive destines. Baby boomers who may have gotten married early to satisfy ideals about family life developed in childhood found themselves coming of age in a society where divorce was increasingly accepted. Staying in a bad marriage was no longer a requirement for women (and men) to maintain their social standing.
For years now, the baby boomer generation has been the demographic most likely to divorce, and as this demographic approaches retirement age, more couples are splitting, especially as people grow apart, develop new interests, or experience health changes.
Which gray divorcees are most likely to get remarried? Brown, Lin, and others examined longitudinal data from the 1998-2014 Health and Retirement Study to determine factors which would increase the likelihood of marriage after gray divorce. Brown and Lin found that the reasons why people choose to remarry later in life differ from the decision-making process involved in early life marriage choices. For example, in gray marriages, financial security is less of a concern than it is for couples getting married younger. In fact, wealth wasn’t such a significant indicator of a person’s likelihood to remarry after a gray divorce, with home ownership among men being the only factor the researchers found that could increase the likelihood of remarriage.
Yet, it is important to note that widowhood can also lead to remarriage. Brown and Lin’s research published in the Journals of Gerontology, noted that prior to the rise of “gray divorce,” (that is, a divorce after age 50), widowhood was the primary reason why older individuals became single, and widowhood remains a significant reason why many older men and women are single today. Recent data indicates that three-quarters of older women are single through widowhood, while approximately half of all older men are single through widowhood. While it is true that widows are less likely to remarry than gray divorcees, the reality is that attitudes surrounding dating and remarrying after 50 are changing, and more people are getting married older.
The takeaway is this: not all gray marriages follow from gray divorce. This is an important consideration, because individuals who are getting remarried after widowhood might bring more significant wealth into a new marriage than individuals who divided property and assets following their divorce. Furthermore, those who have adult children may have specific plans for their estate and for their children, and these plans may not factor a new spouse into the picture.
Divorce can have major financial implications for wealth after 50, with women’s wealth more largely affected. The journalist Jill Filipovic writes that gray divorce can cut women’s wealth in half and can reduce their standard of living, according to soon-to-be-published research performed at Bowling Green University.
Here are the facts: Baby Boomers are more likely to get divorced more than any other demographic. With more single people over 50, we’re also seeing more gray marriages than ever before. And while no one wants to think of getting divorced while getting married, older couples are wise to take steps to protect themselves as they go into marriage or remarriage. Older people might bring more significant wealth (or debts) into their marriages, are closer to retirement (or are already retired) and are at an age where estate planning becomes ever more urgent. These are all issues that can be addressed, fully or partially, through a prenuptial agreement.
If you are over 50 and are thinking of getting remarried, one way that you can protect your wealth and standard of living if you were to get divorced is through the creation of a prenuptial agreement. If you’ve been through the divorce process already, you probably have a good idea of the issues that can arise regarding shared and separate property rights, retirement planning, estate planning, and more. And you likely understand why a prenuptial agreement would be so important in the face of these challenges. If you are widowed and are getting remarried over 50, a prenuptial agreement can offer clarity and protection for the assets you are bringing into your late-in-life-marriage. A prenuptial agreement can also help you and your future partner discuss retirement planning and estate planning.
When you get married in Washington state, Washington’s marriage laws govern the terms of your “marital contract.” Unfortunately, many couples go into marriage not entirely clear about the terms of the marriage contract as established by Washington law, nor are they informed about how Washington’s community property laws can affect their assets and debts when they get married older. While property and debts you bring into marriage would generally be considered separate property should you get divorced, there are situations where couples can unknowingly comingle property and debts. A prenuptial agreement is an additional step you can take to keep property and debts each partner brings into the marriage separate, so that there are no surprises later. A Washington state prenuptial agreement lawyer can help you understand how Washington’s marriage laws work and can help you decide whether these laws work in your situation. If these laws don’t work for your situation, a prenuptial agreement lawyer can help you write a plan that works for you.
In this article, we’ll explore how a prenuptial agreement can be of specific use to couples who are getting married older.
- The Benefit of Full Disclosure
- The Power of Communication
- A Lifetime of Assets and Debts to Consider
- Financial Planning
- Retirement Planning
- Estate Planning
The Benefit of Full Disclosure
A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract, and for the contract to be valid, both parties must fully disclose their finances, debts, and assets. Getting married older means that both you and your future spouse have a long financial history. For some individuals that might mean having significant assets and properties, and for others it might mean bringing a significant debt liability into a marriage. Whatever each partner’s financial situation might be, a prenuptial agreement gives both parties the opportunity to share their financial background. Your partner’s debts or assets could have an impact on your quality of married life, and it can be helpful to go into marriage informed. Too many couples wait until after they are married to have these conversations, and by then, it can be much harder to take steps to protect your rights.
The Power of Communication
While marriage is a personal commitment, marriage also has a legal and financial component. The process of writing your prenuptial agreement will raise important questions that most couples would benefit from discussing, but many couples don’t address until after they are married. Some of these questions can be uncomfortable or awkward to discuss. The process of writing a prenuptial agreement creates space where couples can have open and honest conversation about difficult topics.
When individuals going into a marriage make assumptions, resentments can form. For example, if one person owns a house, will both partners’ names go on the deed after you get married, or does one partner want to keep this property separate? If one partner brings significant debts into a marriage where another has significant wealth, will the wealthier partner help their spouse tackle their debts? If you have adult children, do you support them financially, and will you continue to do so?
The process of writing a prenuptial agreement can open a space where you and your future spouse can tackle tough financial questions, with the help of your lawyers, and in some cases, financial planners. These conversations are often inevitable in any marriage. By discussing these concerns before you get married, you can potentially avoid conflict later.
Here are some questions that writing your prenuptial agreement can help you and your future spouse explore:
Will you share a bank account or keep your money separate?
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- If one partner owns a home, will the home be placed in both partner’s names, or will property be kept separate?
- If one partner brings significant debts into the marriage, will these debts be solely that partner’s responsibility or will the couple work to pay down these debts together?
- Will you share debts once you are married, or do you intend to keep debts in each of your own names?
- If one partner has retirement savings while the other does not have savings, will one partner be expected to work to contribute to the household?
- If you have children from a prior marriage, how to you plan to set up your estate?
- If you have adult children from a prior marriage, what are the expectations regarding supporting the children financially? With gray marriage, the days of child support might be long gone, but adult children may still need financial support, either with university debt, living expenses, and more.
These are just some of the questions you can navigate with the help of your prenuptial agreement lawyers.
A Lifetime of Assets and Debts to Consider
Individuals who get married older might bring a lifetime of assets or debts into their new marriage. While property, assets, and debts brought into a marriage are typically seen as separate under Washington law, there are situations where the lines can blur. For example, any income made after you are married is considered shared property, and 50% of community income could be fair game to any debt collectors who come knocking on your door after you wed. A prenuptial agreement might be able to protect your spouse from these debts.
Putting separate savings into a shared bank account could also potentially create problems if the time ever comes to distinguish whose money is whose. This could be an issue if you want your children to inherit all your savings from before your gray marriage. A prenuptial agreement lawyer in the state of Washington can talk you through common issues that can arise, and help you draft a prenuptial agreement that preserves your wishes as much as legally possible.
Financial Planning
Your prenuptial agreement is also a place where you can discuss each partner’s responsibility regarding household debts and expenses. If you were previously married for quite a while, it’s all too easy to bring assumptions into a new marriage about how finances will be handled. Some questions to consider include:
- Will each of you be responsible for debts you get into after you are married, or will you share responsibility for these debts? Will you distinguish between personal debt and debt that benefits both of you? For example, a debt you take out to purchase a car for personal use would be seen as a separate debt, while debt taken out to go on vacations as a couple would be seen as shared debt.
- Will you file taxes together or separate?
- How will you divide the responsibility on paying household bills, mortgages, and other expenses?
- Do you have other financial obligations that will affect your financial planning?
Bringing assumptions from a prior marriage about the answers to these questions could create issues down the line. With a prenuptial agreement, you can discuss these issues before you get married, and agree on how they will be handled.
Retirement Planning
Couples who go into marriage who are older might bring retirement, military, or employee benefits from a lifetime of hard work into the marriage. A prenuptial agreement can offer clarity on how benefits are owned and offer clarity about what would happen should you ever get divorced. For example, you can decide that each partner will retain separate ownership of his or her separate benefits, and benefits would not be divided in divorce. This might make sense if you and your future spouse are retired already or are close to retirement.
Or you can decide that any benefits gained during the marriage (or any increases in value) would be considered community property, whose value is subject to division in divorce. If you and your partner plan to keep working for some time after you are married, this might be an option to explore.
These are just two options regarding retirement or employee benefits. Couples can also decide to treat the value of benefits gained during the marriage as community property. Using this method, also known as the “offset method” the person whose name is on the retirement or employee benefit account keeps the retirement account in the event of a divorce, but then compensates their spouse by receiving less of a share of their community savings or shared property.
Retirement planning can be complex and is outside the scope of this article. Your family lawyer can offer guidance when helping you write your prenuptial agreement, pointing you in the direction of professionals who can help you navigate retirement planning in the context of your new marriage.
Estate Planning
If you have children from a prior marriage and have specific plans for your estate to mostly go to your children, a prenuptial agreement coupled with a strong estate plan will most likely be essential. Without a will or prenup in place, an estate would usually be divided evenly between your spouse and surviving children. If you want certain real estate or properties to go to your children, a prenup along with careful estate planning is wise.
Estate planning in the context of remarriage can sometimes have many moving parts. Truce Law is a family law firm that has a team of lawyers ready to help you navigate the challenges that can arise with estate planning when couples get married older. Our lawyers have knowledge of prenuptial agreements and estate planning and can help you put plans in place to ensure that your wishes are honored. When it comes to estate planning before marriage, you’ll need to harmonize your prenuptial agreement with your estate plan.
These are just some of the concerns that a prenuptial agreement can help you address. If you are planning to get married, you might want to include, as part of your marriage plans, contacting the state of Washington family lawyers at Truce Law.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.