If you’ve been served divorce papers, you might be wondering what your next steps should be. In this article, we’ll help you understand your rights and responsibilities if you’ve received divorce papers and offer a general overview of the divorce process itself.
If you haven’t hired a divorce lawyer to represent you yet, you might want to reach out to a Washington state divorce attorney as soon as possible. You only have 20 days from the date you’ve been served a divorce petition to respond to the petition and may have less time if you received a restraining order or Motion for Temporary Family Law Orders. (If you live outside Washington state, you’ll have more time to respond.) A lawyer can read through the divorce petition, help you draft an answer, or help you set up divorce negotiations if you want to try to avoid taking your divorce to court.
If the divorce paperwork came as a total surprise to you, it’s understandable to feel shocked and thrown off balance. Here’s the thing to keep in mind.
You are now on a deadline.
If you fail to respond to the petition in time, your spouse might automatically get everything they ask for in the divorce petition. When you receive the divorce petition, you might also receive other motions along with the paperwork, which may include a Motion for Temporary Family Law Orders which could affect temporary custody of your children. You may only have a matter of days to respond to this motion or attend a hearing.
Here’s the reality: if you’ve received divorce paperwork, the things you do in the next week or two can have a profound impact on your finances, your family, and your life going forward. Once a divorce has been finalized, you won’t be able to appeal the financial decisions. And once a final parenting plan has been approved by the court, it can be very difficult to change these plans.
The good news is that your divorce attorney can help you seek a continuance if you need more time to review the divorce petition and file your response. A divorce attorney can also help you file a response to the divorce paperwork and represent you in court if you need to appear for a motion.
If you’ve been served divorce paperwork, think of the divorce paperwork as your spouse hitting the first domino in a chain. If you do nothing, the dominos will fall exactly the way your spouse wants them to.
As the spouse who has received divorce paperwork, you have some questions to ask yourself.
• You might agree to the divorce, but do you agree about the way your spouse has divided your debts and assets? Do you know your rights under Washington state law when it comes to division of debts and assets? Any property or income either spouse earned during the marriage is generally considered marital property, and any debts acquired during the marriage are considered shared debts. Under Washington law, courts divide these shared debts and assets in an equitable way. This doesn’t always mean equal. If you are a lower earning spouse, for example, and gave up career opportunities or educational opportunities to raise the children or support your spouse’s career, or if you had to relocate for your spouse (and lost opportunities as a result), you might be entitled to a larger share of marital property to compensate you for your lower earning capacity, and you might even be entitled to receive alimony. Before you agree to everything your spouse asks for, you might want to speak to a Washington state divorce lawyer who can review your situation and help you understand your rights.
• Do you agree with the proposed child custody plan? Have you had a chance to provide your input about what you think is in the best interests of your children? Are you concerned for your children’s health or safety given the current plan? Do you have questions about your rights? In many cases, couples work with their divorce lawyers who help them negotiate a child custody plan based on mutual agreement and mutual respect. It can be understandably upsetting to receive a proposed parenting plan from your former spouse without your input. The good news is that you can propose your own parenting plan when you respond to the divorce paperwork.
• Do you have a clear sense of your financial situation? Sometimes one partner in a marriage handles all the finances. If you don’t have a clear picture of your finances, your divorce lawyer may be able to request this information through the discovery process.
• Is the jurisdiction of your divorce the state of Washington? If you don’t live in Washington state (or if your children don’t live in the state of Washington), and you have been served divorce papers, the state of Washington may not have jurisdiction over your divorce or your children. Responding to a divorce petition without disputing the jurisdiction could lead to Washington being the state that has jurisdiction over your divorce. Before you do anything, you might want to speak to a divorce lawyer, especially if your family lives in multiple states, or if you have just recently moved to Washington state.
• Military Divorce. If you or your spouse is on active duty in the military when divorce papers are served, the Service Members’ Civil Relief Act may offer additional protections, which can include extended time to respond to divorce paperwork (or the right to request a stay in proceedings). Military couples may also have additional options when it comes to where they can file for divorce. If you and your spouse live in different states, or if you are stationed in one state, but consider another state home, you might be able to choose where to file for divorce. Depending on state law and your options, some states might be more favorable to your situation. Your divorce lawyer may be able to help you raise jurisdictional questions (if applicable) when you answer the divorce petition or request a stay.
• Do you think your spouse would be willing to discuss or negotiate some of these points? If so, you might want to request a continuance so that you and your former spouse can sit down at the negotiating table to discuss division of property, assets, debts, and child custody matters. When couples decide to fight about these issues in court, rarely does anybody win. The judge will most likely order mediation, meaning that you not only each need to hire an attorney, but will also need to hire a mediator to help you negotiate your divorce settlement. Because of this, more couples choose the collaborative divorce process. With collaborative divorce, both you and your partner agree to settle your divorce outside of court. This can protect your privacy, lead to a more peaceful end to your marriage, and give you and your partner the chance to build a strong foundation for your future as co-parents rather than as adversaries. If you think your partner might agree to negotiation, or to collaborative divorce, you might want to speak to the collaborative divorce lawyers in the state of Washington at Truce Law. Sometimes individuals file for divorce out of anger or in haste. The good news is that there’s still time to negotiate, even if one of you has already filed for divorce. The collaborative divorce attorneys at Truce Law can work with you and your spouse to help you take the next steps, so that deadlines are met, or continuances are requested.
• Do you need more time? Sometimes divorce papers arrive late, or your situation is complicated. If you need more time to respond to the divorce petition, your divorce lawyer may be able to help you get a continuance. This process can sometimes be complicated. This is why it is important to seek the representation of a divorce lawyer as soon as you receive divorce papers. The clock is ticking.
Your divorce lawyer can help you work through some of these initial questions when you receive divorce paperwork to help you determine your next steps.
Understanding How the Divorce Process Works
If you have received a divorce petition, you are still in the initial stages of the divorce process. This is typically how a divorce unfolds.
1. One party files the petition for divorce where they create a proposed division of assets and debts, and if they have children, include a proposed parenting plan. If there are children involved, the petitioner (the party filing for divorce), may also file a Motion for Temporary Family Law Orders to get temporary custody of the children.
2. Once the petition has been filed, the petition must be personally “served” to the other spouse. The person must be someone “of sound mind” who is over 18 years old, and not the spouse who filed for divorce.
3. You receive the divorce paperwork and typically have 20 days from the date you are served the papers to respond (and less time if a Motion for Temporary Family Law Orders was filed). At this time, you’ll sit with your divorce lawyer who will review everything your spouse has requested, and help you write an answer.
4. You answer the initial petition. If you don’t agree to everything your spouse requests in the initial divorce petition, you and your divorce attorney will draft an answer to the petition. This can take the form of a counter-petition where you can make your own proposals about how to divide property and create your own plan for how custody of your children should be handled.
5. The answer is filed and served to the petitioner (the spouse who initially filed for divorce). Now your spouse must respond to your petition with an answer within the deadline.
Again, this is a general overview of how a divorce might unfold if one partner files first. If you choose the collaborative divorce process, you can work together to negotiate a settlement without filing, and when you agree about everything, you both could file for uncontested divorce together.
As you can imagine, if both spouses are not speaking to one another or are not negotiating outside court throughout this process, it is quite possible that after both spouses have had a chance to file their answers, their answers (what they are asking the court to award them in the divorce) will likely look different.
All it takes is for you to have even one minor disagreement for your case to go to court.
The disagreements that can arise in this back and forth can be significant. For example, one spouse wants physical custody of the children, while the other spouse was thinking more along the lines of a 50-50 split. Or, one spouse wants alimony, but the other spouse doesn’t agree to alimony payments in his or her answer.
Sometimes, these disagreements can seem minor on the surface, but stem from festering resentments, and can lead to intractable impasses. She wants the vase you bought together in Italy on your second anniversary trip. He wants to keep the kayak you bought together last summer, even though he already has two of his own. You can see where this is going.
This is where the collaborative divorce process can be incredibly beneficial. Once both parties have stated their positions through the petition and answering process, either both parties can go to divorce mediation, or they can sit down at the negotiating table with their collaborative divorce lawyers to work out a divorce settlement.
When it comes to divorce, very rarely does one person get everything they want. Divorce is a negotiation where both parties are likely going to have to make concessions. Skilled collaborative divorce attorneys can look at what you want in your divorce and can also ask deeper questions to help you get to the bottom of your underlying motivations. Sometimes the deeper motivations for your requests can be satisfied through creative solutions. Many divorce cases can be settled through mediation or through the collaborative divorce process.
What Will I Need to Respond to the Divorce Petition?
If you have children, and the initial divorce petition doesn’t include Temporary Family Law Orders, you’ll need to decide whether to file for Temporary Family Law Orders. If you will be living in different homes and suspect that arguments might arise about time with the children before the divorce is finalized, Temporary Family Law Orders can get you a court-ordered arrangement that can offer clarity.
Once a divorce petition has been filed, the clock also starts ticking in other respects. You have twenty-one days from the date of receiving either the initial divorce paperwork or your spouse’s answer to demand discovery. Discovery is the mandatory disclosure of financial information, income tax returns, gift tax returns, W-2s, pay stubs, loans, deeds, leases, bank information, brokerage account information, credit card statements, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, reports made by expert witnesses, appraisals and valuations, and any other relevant information required. If there is a premarital agreement, this would also be produced during discovery and reviewed by each party’s lawyer. Each party’s attorney may request additional documents as well.
If your financial situation is simple or if you truly believe you understand your marital finances, discovery might not be required. Both parties can simply look at their shared tax returns and bank account statements and call the process is complete. But sometimes the discovery process can become more complicated and may require financial advisors, business valuation experts, and other professionals.
Additional Considerations
The steps above assume that even if there is some disagreement or acrimony between both parties, that ultimately both parties are cooperative, peaceful, and ultimately want to settle their divorce. If you or your children experienced domestic violence or threats, you may need to seek protection orders and possibly take additional steps to keep you and your children safe. The time when people are most likely to experience increased violence in these kinds of relationships is when divorce papers are filed or when one party finally decides to leave. If you are concerned for your safety, seek assistance either from your family lawyer or from local domestic violence support agencies. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can connect you with local resources (800-799-7233).
If you anticipate challenges involving child custody, you may also want to appoint a Guardian ad Litem. This is a person whose job is to help ensure that your children’s best interests are protected during the divorce.
Contact a Washington Collaborative Divorce Lawyer
If you received divorce papers, you only have a limited time to respond. The collaborative divorce lawyers at Truce Law are here to help. We can review the petition, help you file your answer, and assist you with the divorce negotiations process.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.