Technology plays a vital role in many aspects of our lives. Yet, if you’re getting divorced, there are certain tech behaviors you might want to avoid.
In this Truce Law blog article, we’ll explore some key tech habits and behaviors that can lead to difficulties and complications during divorce.
- Why You Should Avoid Using Tracking Devices on Vehicles and Shared Property During Divorce
- Why You Should Avoid Share-My-Location Tools and Tracking Your Spouse During a Divorce
- What You Need to Know About Video Monitoring
- Why You Should Never Try to Access Your Spouse’s Password Protected Accounts During a Divorce
- What to do About Shared Accounts, Devices, and Computers During Your Divorce
- What You Need to Know About Social Media During Your Divorce
- Key Takeaways
Why You Should Avoid Using Tracking Devices on Vehicles and Shared Property During Divorce
If you and your spouse own big-ticket items that you share—things like vehicles, boats, a computer, collectibles, or other valuables—you might already be using tracking devices on this property (examples include AirTags, GPS trackers, or Find My Device tools).
Even if you and your spouse already have tracking devices installed on shared property, and even if both of you have access to tracking information, it still might be safest to disable shared device tracking or remove shared GPS tracking devices on shared property, especially if one partner will have primary use of the property. If the property is primarily used by one spouse, the couple might want to discuss removing the other spouse’s access to tracking data. If you do plan to continue tracking shared property for security purposes, you might want to write up a shared formal agreement that outlines agreed and prohibited use of data obtained from shared tracking.
According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, Washington state “prohibits installing or monitoring an electronic tracking device with the intent to track the location of another person if the installation or monitoring of the tracking device would cause the other person reasonable fear.”
Note that the language includes “monitoring” an already installed device. When you file for divorce, everything changes. Things that you and your partner agreed about or found acceptable during your marriage can change overnight. The safest bet is to assume that the moment you ask for a divorce, or file for divorce, any monitoring of your spouse would cause them “reasonable fear.”
Removing and disabling shared tracking protects both parties from illegal monitoring claims. If you do continue to monitor any personal property when filing for divorce, it can be useful to have a written agreement outlining which property is considered personal, or to use a Temporary Family Law Order to establish that property you will continue to monitor is in your sole control or possession.
And, if you’re thinking of installing tracking devices on shared property after filing for divorce or asking for a divorce—don’t.
Here’s why.
In Washington state, coercive control is defined as “a pattern of behavior that is used to cause another to suffer physical, emotional, or psychological harm, and… interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty.” Under RCW 7.105.010, examples of coercive control include, “Using technology to threaten, humiliate, harass, stalk, intimidate, exert undue influence over, or abuse the other party, including by engaging in cyberstalking, monitoring, surveillance, impersonation, manipulation of electronic media, or distribution of or threats to distribute actual or fabricated images.”
If you use tracking devices to track shared vehicles or shared property without your partner’s knowledge or consent, they and their divorce lawyer could accuse you of using technology to stalk or coercively control them. And even if your partner is aware of the presence of tracking devices on shared vehicles, using these devices to learn about your partner’s whereabouts without your partner’s consent can lead to accusations of stalking, harassment, or attempts to exert undue influence over your partner’s whereabouts or behavior.
While it might be tempting to monitor installed tracking devices or install a tracking device to find out if your partner is cheating, doing so could be illegal, could be seen as coercive control, would likely not be admissible in court, and can lead to a more difficult divorce.
Washington state is a no-fault state when it comes to divorce. This means that the court won’t impose sanctions or punish someone who commits adultery. In most cases, a judge just won’t care if infidelity led to the dissolution of your marriage. And in most cases, infidelity won’t impact how a judge divides assets, debts, or influence how custody is awarded. (The one exception is if your partner spent marital or shared money on gifts or travel for their new partner or used shared lines of credit or credit cards to purchase travel or gifts for a new partner without your knowledge or consent. Yet, there are ways your lawyer can investigate these issues using the formal discovery process without the need to use tracking devices and monitoring property. The key takeaway is this: if you have concerns about infidelity, and want to investigate, talk to your divorce lawyer before you do anything.)
What judges do care about, however, is the presence of coercive control. If a judge determines that your attempts to track your partner constitute coercive control, you could face a range of repercussions that can include criminal charges, lost custody, and even financial damages if the control disrupted your partner’s work, income, or resulted in your partner having to change their habits or living arrangements to avoid being monitored.
Why You Should Avoid Share-My-Location Tools and Tracking Your Spouse During a Divorce
Some couples use share-my-location, on phones and watches, but when you decide to get divorced or file for divorce, ongoing use of these tools could be problematic. If you and your partner have decided to file for divorce, it’s best to have a conversation about removing share-my-location tools from your devices, and dividing any family cloud or data plans you currently have.
If you discovered that your spouse was being unfaithful due to share-my-location tools, you might want to speak to your divorce lawyer before you confront your spouse. Washington state is a no-fault divorce state. In most cases, the factors that led to your divorce will have little or no impact on division of property, assets, debts, and co-parenting. Your divorce lawyer or an accountant can take steps to determine if a partner’s infidelity resulted in the waste of shared funds, property, or debts. The key takeaway is this: even if you suspect something is going on because of share-my-location, it might be best to avoid confronting your spouse about it until you’ve spoken to your divorce lawyer.
While fault won’t impact most divorces, one notable exception is when a divorce happens because of abuse or coercive control. If your partner was using share-my-location tools to control your freedom of movement, to monitor you, or to abuse you, this could have an impact on your divorce. And if your partner accuses you of using share-my-location or tracking to control them, you could end up with a very difficult divorce that could impact co-parenting and even your finances.
What You Need to Know About Video Monitoring
If you and your partner own property and monitor property using video, you might want to speak to your lawyer about video monitoring during your divorce. Monitoring solely for security purposes will likely still be okay. But if you use video monitoring to track your spouse’s behavior, interactions with other people, or think you’ll use video monitoring to catch your partner cheating, or to get evidence to support your divorce case, you might want to speak to your divorce lawyer. Remember: Washington is a no-fault divorce state. Infidelity likely won’t change the outcome of your divorce. But what can potentially change the outcome of your divorce and even lead to criminal charges are accusations of coercive control and illegal monitoring.
Why You Should Never Try to Access Your Spouse’s Password Protected Accounts During a Divorce
Some couples share accounts, passwords, and sometimes even devices during their marriage. Everything changes once you decide to get divorced. Accessing your partner’s private email, personal social media accounts, or other private password protected accounts is a big no-no. If the accounts are shared, that is, formally in both parties’ names, you should still have access to the accounts, but if you’re not sure, you might want to speak to your divorce lawyer, first.
If you feel you need information from your partner’s personal accounts for your divorce filing, it’s best to speak to your lawyer before taking matters in your own hands. Your divorce lawyer has legal tools at their disposal to help you get the information you need.
Here’s the key takeaway: any information you obtain illegally won’t be admissible in court, and if you are caught illegally accessing your spouse’s personal accounts, you could face criminal charges. So even if you think you’ll get a big bombshell discovery by snooping through your former spouse’s emails or your spouse’s personal bank accounts, this is not the route to take. Your divorce lawyer can use legal methods, like the discovery process to get information. And a forensic accountant can use legal methods to obtain crucial financial information to support your case, if you are concerned that your spouse might be hiding money or accounts.
What to do About Shared Accounts, Devices, and Computers During Your Divorce
The best thing you can do to protect yourself from claims of coercive control and illegal monitoring is to divorce your accounts and tech use as soon as you decide to get divorced. If you share devices or property, you might want to put together a formal agreement for shared use. The safest bet is to just buy your own device and set up your own personal cloud account. Shared cloud accounts can be copied for archival and data protection purposes, though it’s always a good idea to let your spouse know what you’re doing, and to speak to your divorce lawyer if you aren’t sure.
If you share cloud accounts during your divorce, private data you share with your divorce lawyer could be potentially accessed by your former spouse and their attorneys.
When you decide to file for divorce, take some time to list shared accounts, devices, and to itemize any ways in which you and your spouse’s technological lives are intertwined. If you and your spouse are on good terms with one another, you might be able to work with your divorce mediator, or divorce attorneys to work out a clear division of accounts and technological property. In some cases, this might be as simple as acknowledging that during your marriage you used share-my-location and now will stop using these tools, agreeing to disable or remove tracking devices from shared property, and it might be as simple as removing your partner as a family member on your cloud account.
Yet sometimes these decisions aren’t so simple. If a shared account is paid for with marital funds or includes access to an extensive library of shared digital property, dividing accounts can get complicated. Some couples share social media accounts, and sometimes these accounts bring in income.
In some instances, you might need to work with your mediator or divorce lawyer to work out an agreement about division of these digital shared accounts. Solutions can include agreeing to have continued shared access, or one partner agreeing to compensate the other partner for the value of the shared digital assets.
If you cannot agree about how to manage certain shared digital assets, you can ask a judge to issue an order through a Temporary Family Law Order. But before doing this, you might want to speak to a Washington state divorce lawyer at Truce Law first. Our family law attorneys work to help clients find amicable solutions to some of the most difficult situations. Many issues involving shared technology can be resolved amicably, through mediation, collaborative law, or negotiation.
What You Need to Know About Social Media During Your Divorce
Most divorce lawyers will tell you that the best thing you can do to protect yourself during your divorce is to disable your social media accounts until your divorce is finalized. At the very least, change your account settings from “public” to “private.” While you should never delete your social media account or delete posts (this could lead to accusations of attempting to destroy evidence), disabling your account preserves your data, but also protects you from posting information that can complicate your divorce.
Disabling your account can also make your account less easily searched by your former spouse’s lawyer, meaning that if there’s something there the other attorney wants, they’ll need to go through the discovery process to get it.
Social media posts often lack important contextual clues. Posts that seem innocent at the time can sometimes be misconstrued by your former partner’s lawyer. For example, if you post photos of a weekend away with friends, opposing counsel could question whether you used marital funds for this “vacation” and may ask if your new girlfriend or boyfriend was there at the time. If you have children and are trying to work out a co-parenting agreement, any photos of you drinking or partying could be used as ammunition by the other parent to discredit your parenting or your character.
Photographs also contain a wealth of information that your former spouse’s lawyer can use. Photos can contain geotagging information, metadata, and other information that could potentially identify your location and other information.
Angry posts about your ex are also a big no-no. Anger and frustration are normal emotions to feel during divorce, but they should be shared only in private settings with people you trust or with professionals. One angry public post could be used as evidence to suggest that you are abusive or violent, which can lead to more complications in your divorce and co-parenting plans.
While it can be difficult to change your social media habits during divorce, it’s often the best idea. At the very least, you should avoid posting photos and updates to social media while you wait for your divorce to be finalized.
Key Takeaways
Here are some key takeaways when it comes to tech monitoring and tech use during divorce:
- Avoid posting on social media and consider temporarily deactivating accounts or setting accounts to “private.”
- Don’t delete anything (messages, social media posts, emails) but be aware that you don’t have to share anything without a court order. When in doubt about sharing information with your spouse, speak to your divorce lawyer.
- Divide all cloud accounts and stop sharing devices.
- Don’t use tracking devices, and if you have them installed, consider deactivating them.
- Stop using sharing-my-location on phones and other devices.
- Talk to your lawyer about any security devices or security cameras you use in your properties.
- If you need financial information or other information protected by a spouse’s password, speak to your lawyer about legal ways to get the information.
To protect yourself from digital surveillance during divorce you can:
- Update passwords and consider purchasing a new laptop that isn’t connected to your former partner in any way.
- Update social media privacy settings.
- Monitor accounts you have access to, and ideally, make copies of shared data before you file for divorce.
- If you suspect you are being tracked or stalked by your spouse, speak to your divorce lawyer. Any fears or concerns should be shared with your attorney.
With the availability of tracking devices, share-my-location technology on phones, and shared accounts, it can be difficult to know how to handle shared technology and shared property before your divorce is finalized. Technological tools contain a wealth of information that can make your divorce more complicated. Add to this the prevalence of social media, the temptation to share updates with friends and family, and you have a range of issues that can arise due to oversharing. Even something as innocent as sharing a photo of a night out with friends, or a weekend away, can potentially be used against you in your divorce.
While it might be tempting to use already-installed tracking devices to see where your partner is going and find out if they are cheating, doing so could be illegal. At the worst, it could lead to criminal charges, and at the very least, it could make your divorce more complicated.
If you have questions about tech use during divorce, your best option is to speak to your divorce lawyer before doing anything. The Washington state divorce lawyers at Truce Law are here to help you navigate the complex and sometimes murky laws surrounding privacy, tech, and divorce.
This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your circumstances, consult a licensed family law attorney in your area.